"24 S8.6" Recap – “The One Where The Air Never Gets Into The Balloon”

24 S8.6 – “The One Where The Air Never Gets Into The Balloon”

• Jack wants Agent Red pulled out of the mission, but Bubba overrules him. Jack says he’ll get the info his way, but Bubba reminds him that “we don’t play that” (paraphrasing) and blah-blah-woof-woof. Yeesh.
• Lifetime Starbuck continues to grind our patience. Someone take her Palm Pre away; she doesn’t deserve a cool phone when she’s such a doormat. Give her a Storm. Buford and Bubba are just gonna sneak into an evidence lockup and get the cash? Uh-huh.
• Red and Ruskie Baboo are doing a lousy job recreating that Moonlighting sexual banter.
• Sark and Radiobro are at the…oh, who the f*ck cares?!? Really? Sark’s threatening the doc in case his brother dies when some things aren’t curable. Stupid. Worse than Lifetime Starbuck’s crap.
• Ruskie Baboo apologizes to Red for smacking her up. Awwww, he’s sensitive. Maybe we’ve misjudged him and, whoops, no, he’s gonna double-cross Jack and gank the cash and kill him. ORLY? Who wants to bet Jack effs up the flunkies sent to get him?
• Prez Cherry is hand-wringing over Regis’ crackdown. Yawn again.
• Regis is cracking down on his nearby flunkies. Yawn.
• Lifetime Starbuck gives B&B the keycards to the lockup. Sing it with me….YAWN. Oooh, Arlo – is that his name? – sees what she’s up to.
• Ah, some life from Chloe! “Why don’t you stare at my ass while I walk away?”
• Ruskie Baboo is crowding Red’s personal space. Even knowing that she’ll probably get to kill him real hard doesn’t do much for the ick factor.
• The way Jack’s had to listen in on this stuff is somewhat interesting, but since we don’t really know what their relationship was between seasons, it’s not sticking.
• Regis’ delegate gets ganked, but something’s up with the minion and Regis’ daughter.
• Radiation illness is transferable thru bodily fluids. Well, Sark better not blow his bro, yo.
• Aw, jeez, was it necessary to whack everyone in the clinic? This doesn’t make the Ruskies seem badass.
• Jack’s showing off of his Berlitz training was cool, but what’s with the glasses? Is that supposed to make him seem more arms dealerish?
• More ick: Red looks like she feels dirty.
• Baboo tells Red that he’s gonna gank Jack – maybe you shouldn’t have toss your comms, eh, Renee? – and she tries to talk him out of it. (Looking hawt in that tank top, Red!) Fortunately, Damp Boi was on deus ex sniper duty and able to pick off the red shirts. Come on, can’t Jack whack someone?!?
• Das Boot caps Radiobro – is killing a lying dead man really killing? – to express his displeasure at Sark’s disobedience. (I guess no dessert wasn’t harsh enough punishment.) At least that ends this sucktabulous storyline.

Thoughts: Simply awful. What the hell is this crap? While the occasional placeholder episode has been an inevitability from time to time on 24 before or after major plot climaxes as they move players around the board, this was simply airless. Other than Agent Red’s nihilism and Jack’s angst, there isn’t much to care about. Regis was a soft touch for Blonde Ambition a couple of HOURS ago and now he’s rounding up dissidents. All the Lifetime angles are just freaking weird. Where is this going?

Hardcores: Agent Red, Das Boot.

Little Bitches: Agent Red, Starbuck, Radiobro, Sark.

Up Next: Who the hell knows? I’m almost afraid to suspect it’s going to be boring.

Episodes Score: 2/10 – Kim getting menaced by a cougar – no, not Courtney Cox – and Johnny Drama in S2 wasn’t this lame.

JBBC: Still only 2. Egad, Damp Boi has tied him.