"24 S8.8" Recap – “Palm Pre: On Sprint’s Pow-Pow Network”

24 S8.8 – “Palm Pre: On Sprint’s Pow-Pow Network”

• We kick off with the bestest storyline this season, “The Life and Times of Lifetime Starbuck,” as she continues to violate CTU’s no personal phone calls/abetting white trash larceny policy to talk to the Yahoo Twins as they call from the strip club. They sure got there fast. Buford tells her they aren’t letting her off the hook. Didn’t need to be Nostradamus to see that coming, did we?
• Damp Boi says that Agent Red is a mess. Ya think?
• Chloe covers for Starbuck’s screwing up. This will result in payback methinks.
• Das Boot and Sark chat over some cooking. Why do bad guys always stop to get their chef on in the middle of their capers? “While I’m waiting to find out if this guy at the garage is a cop, I shall make some of Grammie Babushka’s carrot and ox hoof soup.”
• Jack gets the Mel Gibson in…well, just about half his movies, treatment.
• Bubba calls Prez Cherry. Something about her treaty falling apart, blah-blah-woof-woof.
• Schwartzman gets a call from minion with a well-trimmed goatee. I’m going to have to name this guy next week, aren’t I?
• Das Boot tells Schwartzman that perhaps he should take his weird hair elsewhere to wait for his rods.
• Red has to give a statement and realizes that she’s screwed everything up and Jack’s in trouble because of her. Der!
• Starbuck tries to tell Damp Boi about her secret, but he says that he doesn’t care. Um, perhaps you should find out what your hayseed baboo has to say first. She says she knows what to do. Hopefully this will lead to a blood-soaked Starbuck standing over the machete-hacked bodies of the Yahoo Twins.
• KAZZAP!!! I told ya Jack was gonna kill whoever tortures him so hard!
• Fajita confronts Regis. Oh, gee, she’s banging the help. Regis forbids it. (What about his Blonde Ambition?)
• Jack breaks free and whacks four minions in one segment, but are we supposed to believe that Das Boot is killed by a table? Huh? (OK, he’s just stunned.)
• Awesome Old Spice commercial. “I’m on a horse.”
• Starbuck is out the door again to reboot her life.
• Jack’s got a Palm Pre, like me! Does that mean I can kill like a Horseman of the Apocalypse, too?
• Just as Geoffrey Fieger can’t sue for less than $100 million, no one makes a deal on this show for less than full immunity. “Why not give him a parade down Broadway?”
• Drone Boy shows Damp Boi an out-of-context screen shot of Starbuck and Buford and now he’s concerned.
• Hmmm, he buckled the rookie’s harness. Rookie’s gonna die, isn’t he?
• Whoops! The rods are gone and Sark’s got them on the way to Schwartzman.

Thoughts: About time for Jack to get his Jack on, but the prospect of chasing nuke fuel doesn’t thrill me.

Hardcores: Jack.

Little Bitches: Various Ruskie redshirts.

Up Next: Nukes on the loose and Starbuck gets her gat on.

Episodes Score: 6/10.

JBBC: Jack whacks a quartet to hit the 8-ball mark.