"24 S8.10" Recap – “You Brought A Bomb On Me, Baby”

24 S8.10 – “You Brought A Bomb On Me, Baby”

• We start off tonight’s festivities with our other happy couple, Fajita and Zaboo. He has a plan to escape and they’ll be together.
• Back to Starbuck and Damp Boi and….oh, f*ck the both of them.
• Bubba calls Prez Cherry and tells her that Schwartzman is surrendering and then mysteriously grows a pair to tell the-lackey-as-yet-unnamed that Agent Red’s getting a pass.
• Jack has Red Shirts named Kane and Lynch with him? What’s with the Supernatural-grade alias? Who are next, Mario and Luigi?
• Prez asks Regis for this secret files. His hair seems to be wilting a bit.
• Zaboo escapes and all I can think is that the city skyline was probably composited in post.
• Schwartzman forgets to stay under cover and gets capped. Dante is waiting at the Infidel Diner for shooter to arrive.
• Prez gets the bad news about bomb yields via Cisco Product Placement teleconference. They actually had to mention the product name; the logo wouldn’t suffice?
• Fajita and Zaboo reunite at a very conveniently located hotel. They are so happy. (He’s dead.)
• Schwartzman is dead, Jim, but Jack’s got a plan. Bubba thinks the plan is non-standard. Dude, Jack isn’t asking to saw the head off and put it in a bowling bag, so chillax.
• Everyone else is able to do so much in a few minutes and Starbuck and DB can’t dispose of a couple of bodies in 20 minutes? FAIL!
• Dante is unhappy as Fox News reports that Schwartzman is alive. (Keith Olbermann demands to go on MSNBC immediately to denounce Fox for broadcasting misinformation.) Muhammad Blue-Eyes calls his gringo mother and tells her to blow town before they blow the town.
• Jack’s reassures the scared Red Shirt. He is so dead. (Red Shirt, that is.)
• They’re evacuating the UN for a secure location. I suggest Scores since no one goes there anymore.
• MBE has set us up the bomb.
• WTF is with Red calling Jack and being all Basil Exposition as if anyone’s tuning in just now to the show? That is so really hacky writing.
• OK, Dead Meat just showed us why his nickname of “Mr. Poker” was ironic. Jack tries to buck him up, but he gets a hit on his Little Bitch cards. Lame.
• Regis calls Mrs. Regis to tell her about Fajita running off.
• Mr. Poker tries to call MBE’s bluff. Yup, he’s got a bomb. Now what, kid?
• OK, that was stupid. MBE jumps out the window and Jack doesn’t shoot him in the legs to keep him from running, OK, hobbling off and locking himself in the Michael Jackson Memorial Pressure Chamber.
• Dante tells MBE he needs to blow himself up real good. Wouldn’t it be wacky if the blast was contained inside the chamber? Jack should drag his mama down for leverage.

Thoughts: Some moments of tension, but really, where is this all going? They’ll probably wrap this threat up in a few hours and then what?

Hardcores: Chloe for defusing bombs under pressure.

Little Bitches: Schwartzman (RIP); Starbuck; Mr. Poker; Damp Boi; oh, screw it, everyone but Jack.

Up Next: Jack drags Muhammad Blue-Eyes’ mama down for leverage and – oh, goodie – Buford’s daddy is coming to town looking for sonny. Oh crap, we’re gonna have to follow this BS plotline some more?

Episode Score: 5/10.

JBBC: Jack fails to bust any caps, leaving the tally at 8