" 24 S8.21" Review – “Anyone Still Think Waterboarding’s Torture?”

Just found out that Chloe is the third cousin of a friend of mine and she was in town last week for an aunt's funeral. Small world.

24 S8.21 – “Anyone Still Think Waterboarding’s Torture?”

• Damp Boi is cuffed and sad panda about Starlittlebitch’s demise. (You’re the only one, pal.)
• Jack watches SB’s video file and is disappointed that it’s not a sex tape. Dammit!
• Mr. Dominic annoys Chloe by not answering her questions. She’s starting to think that Jack may be right about the cover-up. YA THINK?!?!?
• Jack gets to Mr. White’s command center and they have an impromptu “gruff guys sharing feelings” session.
• Tramp reporter Blonde Ambition reappears – memba her? – and takes a call from Jack to meet for coffee and evidence swapping.
• DB ends up in the white room w/o black curtains with Dom who easily manipulates DB into hating Jack. You suck, DB.
• Ivanka knows about Jack’s call. Drone Boi is starting to suspect that Chloe may be onto something.
• PELB hears the tape. Dom is sending the strike team to catch him.
• Chloe uses a Sprint phone – on the Now Network – to set up a mobile hot spot to get around Dom’s security. Good thing she’s not trying to use Sprint Nav to route a trip.
• Chloe sees DB, who’s being a useless little bitch, in his rat cage lockup. Boohoo, DB. Jack whacked your traitor squeeze. (America hates you even more than what you did to Buffy.)
• Sniperkov is at the mall and ready to air out the food court.
• Widow Regis corrects Prez Chumpy and PELB tells her they’re gonna get the evidence, so how about press announcement for some props and a “Whut whut?”
• Jack arrives at the mall and takes advantage of the fact he’s shorter than the average shopper to screen his way into the mall w/o being spotted. (Note to self: Hire Dolph Lungren as a human shield.)
• Sniperov has the drop on him, but because he was so busy peering thru his scope, he doesn’t know that Mr. White has snuck up on him. Whoops.
• Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Jack wipes out four crack Ruskie operatives. This never would’ve happened when Putin ran things.
• PELB is choosing his tie, but Dominic calls to tell him that Jack is jacking everything up. Dom tells him to bail, but PELB’s ego gets the better of him. Ivanka’s looking worried.
• Jack, Mr. White – not to be confused with Jack White, mind you – Blonde Ambition, and Sniperov walk out of the store, cross the street, and walk right into yet another of the conveniently vacant buildings with open doors that apparently litter the city.
• BA gets all whiny liberal on Jack when she realizes he may use more than wheedling to get info from Sniperov. Jeez, lady, they just sent a hit squad to whack you and they killed your sweet baboo, and you’re wanting to call Amnesty International?
• Sniperov finds out the hard way that there is nothing – N-O-T-H-I-N-G – that will stop Jack from f*cking your sh*t up when you’ve killed his lady love. Yikes!!! No, make that YIKES!!!
• Jack mops the off the SIM card – ewwwwwwwwwwww! - pops it in the phone, and gets PELB’s voice mail. Leave a message, Jack.

Thoughts: After her two-hour bout of Sudden Little Bitch Syndrome, Chloe is back on the right side, but now Jack is still hosed because Dom and PELB are on the scene. I’m not sure if I’m digging the telegraphed Jack On Fire theme they’re appearing to want to finish with. I love the single-minded-revenge flick genre, but do we want Jack to go out on a personal vendetta note and not some super-patriotic, Captain America blaze of awesome?

Hardcores: JACK!!!!

Little Bitches: Sniperov (spilled your guts there), Prez Chumpy, Damp Boi.

Up Next: Jack goes after PELB. Growl at him, Jack!

Episode Score: 8/10

JBBC: Jack busts caps in four and field-dresses a fifth to bring the total to 128 kills.