Oscars 2015 Livesnark

It's that time again for the collected tweets I fired off @DirkBelig during the Academy Awards.

• Lupita N'yongo's dress makes her look like the Mr. T of pearls. No necklace? Missed opportunity. /s #Oscars2015
• Patricia Arquette sounds as stoned as Ethan Hawke did. She's gonna be great getting her Oscar. Get her a comb. #Oscars2015
• So-so opening on #Oscars2015. Weak jokes. OK song. J.K. Simmons wins the first foregone conclusion award.
• Boy, NPH is really foundering. The jokes and bits are really labored, requiring explanations and tap dancing. #Oscars2015 
• I liked this Maroon 5 song better when it was called "Puberty Love" in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. 22 mins in only 1 award. #Oscars2015 
• OK, the "armored ride when the revolution starts" joke was the first LOL of #Oscars2015. More of this, please.
• #Oscars2015 is officially a boring trainwreck. Terrible pacing. Even "Everything Is Awesome" can't save this, that was this year's "Happy."
• Can you imagine if they didn't waste so much time on painful schtick so the winners could finish their speeches? #Oscars2015 
• Did Goop steam-clean her vajoo before putting on her #Oscars2015 throwback Nolan Miller dress? Couldn't they get a bigger mic for McGraw?
• Jesus? #Oscars2015
• And the 1% of the 1% attending #Oscars2015 go crazy for Patricia Arquette's braying for wage equality, something that's a liberal LIE!
• Remember, the #Oscars2015 LOSERS are getting $167K in swag, which is 4X the ave family income. H'wood underpays actresses, so heal thyself.
• OK, #Oscars2015 just jumped the effing shark! Interstellar wins Best VFX over any of the competitors, esp. Dawn of Planet of Apes. BULLSH*T!
• Seriously, Interstellar was a TERRIBLE movie, but the VFX were barely competent. Transfomers wasn't nommed for this crap? #Oscars2015 
• I liked Big Hero 6, but The Lego Movie should've been in the mix. #Oscars2015 
• The Prez of the Academy is telling the Hollyweird stars to stop being nasty to non-liberals, right? Free speech without fear, right? #Oscars 
• 2nd time using "Lift Us Up Where We Belong" as a walk-on cue. What's that about? Couldn't license more tunes? #Oscars2015 
• Cheevo shouldn't have won last year for Gravity because it was 90% VFX. They need to split Cinematography in two. #Oscars2015 
• Another year comes & goes w/o #Oscars using Jim Carroll's "People Who Died" for the In Memorium reel. Instead J.Hud reminds us we diet fail
• Samsung ad reminds me I need to get back to watching Key & Peele. I'd totally watch Found! #Oscars2015 #CommercialsBetterThanShow
• Naomi Watts wanted to wear a tube top or gray apron - decided to wear both. Bernadette Cumberbund is serving drinks at Guv Ball. #Oscars2015
• The two best things about Whiplash have won, so it can go away now. #Oscars2015 
• The way they're announcing #Oscars2015 presenters as "Oscar nominee" because of PAST nominations is confusing. Terrance Howard WTF?
• And now the "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" LIE of Ferguson is given the full #Oscars2015 production number treatment. This spits on King's dream.
• Wouldn't it be great if after that tear-inducing performance that "Everything Is Awesome" won? There's be a riot in the #Oscars2015 theater.
• Tonight we learned that John Stephens and Lonnie Lynn have been working under fake names. #Oscars2015 Now they tell racialist lies. Fun.
• Hey, John Legend, ever think that the reason so many black men are in prisons is that they've committed crimes? How about you board them?
• There's no way this show is going to wrap up at 11:30 with all the lame schtick and social justice BS punctuating the boredom of #Oscars2015 
• Wowsers! Lady Gaga just salvaged #Oscars2015 with that KILLER Sound of Music medley. Julie Andrews is the cherry on the moment.  
• I'd like to believe Birdman's Best Original Screenplay win bodes well for it's overall #Oscars2015 chances. Boyhood MUST NOT win. Period.
• Imitation Game writer shows how to make an #Oscars2015  speech about something personal not self-indulgent rage-mongering. Good job, sir. 
• WTF is up with the massive turquoise necklaces like that mess yoking Cate Blanchett's tasteful black #Oscars2015 dress?
• Eddie Redmayne wins for the imitation game; all he did was imitate a living person. Michael Keaton should've won #Oscar for creating a role.
• As we pass the 3-1/2 hours mark for #Oscars2015 we return to the locked case for a weak payoff of the gag. #SoNotWorthTheTimeWasted
• Whew! Birdman wins Best Picture. Too bad Keaton got robbed, but so glad Boyhood (aka 12 Years A Movie) didn't win a damn thing. #Oscars2015
• Overall #Oscars2015 a terrible show. NPH was a disappointment. Too much libtard BS. Gaga ruled. Time to watch Walking Dead. Buh-bye #DropMic