Oscars 2016 Livesnark

These are the tweets I fired off from my @DirkBelig Twitter account while enduring the 2016 Oscars.

• Opening montage of everything that didn't get nominated. Bring on the black rage!  
• Cops shooting black people joke gets applause from self-hating white liberal Hollyweird audience.
• Rock's monologue was funny, but Hollyweird will take their lumps and go on with their usual racist liberal biz as usual tomorrow.
• Actual African-American Charlize Theron presents Original Screenplay to Spotlight. Hint of upset already? No token for Compton.
• Interesting change-up in the sequence of Oscars tracing the production process starting with writing. Ironic terrible banter.
• Adam MacKay commands everyone to #FeelTTheBern at #Oscars. I guess he missed the part where he got wealthy serving big corporations.
• Hilarious montage of black actors trying to get into movies, esp. Leslie Jones, followed by terribly unfunny Sarah Silverman.
• Sam Smith. Snack/bathroom break! He's the Oscars version of John Kasich.  
• Wasn't this gawdawful Bond "tune" originally "Puberty Love" in Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?
• Robot girl Alicia Vikander wins Supporting Actress #Oscars for playing a woman who allowed her husband to cut his junk off because men suck.
• Costume design winner shares her expertise on ManBearPig because Mad Max was created back when we thought another Ice Age was coming.
• Mad Max has won three craft awards so far which is what genre movies get at the #Oscars. Period.
• Cheevo turns the hat trick for #Oscars Cinematography. Poor Roger Deakins falls to 0-13. Mad Max wins Editing, rightfully so.
• Whoa. Angela Bassett is 57-years-HAWT! Hubba to the hubba.
• Ex Machina (aka Hottie Non-Terminator) upsets the Mad Max caravan for Best VFX #Oscars - a surprise for a little arthouse sci-fi film.
• Now Girl Scout cookies are weapons in exploiting Hollywood's white liberal guilt at the #Oscars. So fun. /s
• Inside Out wins Best Animated #Oscars to the surprise of no one because Pixar doesn't have to be good to automatically win. Lame.
• Another terrible #Oscars song that not even goth bondage chicks can make interesting. Where's Gaga with that rape tune?
• These Kohls commercials with civilians lipsynching #Oscars acceptance speeches are a very special kind of stupid. And Ward's went under?
• That woman in the Compton #Oscars bit with the hair over one eye is saving money on 3D tickets.
• Whoa! Major shocker as Mark Rylance wins Sup Actor #Oscars over Stallone (sentimental fave) and Ruffalo (many noms). Patsy new Palance?
• The have the #Oscars orchestra in the theater orchestra pit after a few years down at Capitol Records studio. Louis CK was funny.
• So who got left off "The People Who Died" #Oscars montage (which once again failed to use Jim Carrol's perfect-for-it song)?
• If Kurt Cobain had known that Dave Grohl would end up ubiquitous, including the #Oscars, he may have made a different life choice: Shot him!
• FACT CHECK: TRUE! Slow Joe Biden says he's the "least qualified man here" to cheering libtards before preaching about the campus rape hoax.
• Funny, I don't recall Tori Amos' "Me and A Gun" being nominated for #Oscars back in 1991. Isn't having all the rape victims as props wrong?
• Ennio Morricone wins the Lifetime Achievement Catch-Up #Oscars for Hateful 8. How high is Jennifer Jason Leigh? She's Ambien spokesmodel.
• Old: Sappy Bergman ballads won #Oscars New: Social Justice Warrior anthems win Oscars Out: Good songs need not apply.
• Aaaaaaaand you can just ignore that last tweet as the craptacular Bond theme wins Best Song #Oscars. So gay trumps rape. Keep track.
• Inarritu wins Best Director for the 2nd year in a row for making the lowest-reviewed movie nominated. Bleah. #OscarsSoLame 
• Brie Larson wins Best Actress for Room bringing the total of stars in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World with #Oscars to one.
• Leo wins Oscar. #OscarsSoPredictable #Boring #BeingColdIsntActing #ManBearPigger 
• Leo gets to run waaaaaaaaaaaaay over time at #Oscars to preach the lies of ManBearPig. Give up your private jet first, hypocrite!
• Spotlight Best Picture at #Oscars, derailing Revenant train. Ironic praise 4 reporters when journalists are just DNC operatives these days.
• That the #Oscars were marginally more entertaining than the horrible Grammys is nothing to be proud of. Public Enemy over the credits.